Wish you were here
by Amaz.Awes.Vert.Chall.Nerd
Summary: Takes place in Eclipse. Bella decides not to make Edward stay with her during the fight against the newborns How could this desicion have changed their lives? Well, read to find out! BTW chapter titles are major spoilers! Please Review! :D
1. Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters (though I wish I did) Stephenie Meyer does.**

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It was the night before we were to set the trail for the coming newborns. I was supposed to be having a sleepover with Alice, but that's just what we told Charlie. If he had any idea of what I was actually doing; laying on a giant, soft bed with Edward beside me, less than 48 hours from being attacked by a group of wild, bloodthirsty newborn vampires, well… Let's just say I would probably spend the rest of my life in a straitjacket and padded cell.

"Please, don't let anything happen to you." I begged him burying my face in his cool, hard shoulder. More than anything, I wanted him to be there beside me for the upcoming battle. To know for sure that he would be safe in the mountain with me. But I knew that he really wanted to be there, fighting the newborns with his family. I couldn't be selfish and make him stay with me just because it would make me feel better. This was what he wanted.

"Bella," he rolled his eyes and smile crookedly at me, "You silly girl, I've told you a thousand times. You don't have to worry about anything but yourself, nothing is going to happen to me or Alice…" he paused for a moment. "Or Jacob, or any of us." He carefully brushed away the hair from my forehead, gently kissed my forehead. He wrapped his arm securely around my shoulder, pulling me closer to his cool body. I shivered involuntarily. Edward sighed and wrapped my blanket more securely around me.

"You should get some sleep love." He lifted himself to his elbows and looked down on me, his warm golden eyes taking my breath away. I sighed. I was never going to get used to them. As we looked at each other he started to softly hum my lullaby.

We were laying like this for what felt like hours, but could easily have just been several minutes before Edward hummed the last sweet note of the song. He smiled lovingly down at me as a tear slid down on to my face. He softly wiped it away and ran his fingers through my hair.

Unconsciously, I reached up and gently ran my fingers over his smooth face like I had done so many times before. He closed his pale lavender lids over his eyes and sighed. His cool, sweet breath washed over me, stunning me for a moment. I inhaled deeply and sighed too. I continued to trace the planes of his face, memorizing it over and over again as they followed the same beautiful pattern. Why did he have to be so perfect?

I wrapped my arms around his hard neck and tried to pull his face towards me, which was completely impossible. Noticing what I was trying to do, he lowered his face and touched his lips softly to mine.

x o x o

The next day, after carefully laying down the trail as bait for the newborns, Edward and I were saying our goodbyes on the edge of the baseball clearing. As I reached up, put my hand on his cool cheek and looked deep into his warm butterscotch eyes we both heard a quiet cough from behind me. Edward rolled his eyes. I had almost forgotten that Jacob was here.

It was always so easy to forget about my surroundings when I was with Edward.

Ignoring him, he put his hand on my cheek and kissed me.

After a moment I sighed and pulled away despite how much it pained me to move away from him. I didn't want to push Jake too far. Especially since I was going to have to spend the night in the middle of nowhere with him and Seth.

Stupid werewolves.

Edward slid his hand behind my neck and touched his forehead to mine.

"Be safe." I whispered

"Don't worry about me." He said for the three-hundredth time that day. "Just don't let anything happen to _you_, and make sure that… _dog_ doesn't try anything."

I smiled and met his lips with mine.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you more." I replied. He laughed softly. He stood there for a moment before he stepped back, his eyes still burning into mine. Suddenly his beautiful face was blocked out by another.

"See you later Bella!" Alice's wind chime voice sounded optimistic as she stepped forward and kissed my cheek. I tried to find my voice.

"See you later Alice. Be careful." I couldn't help but add the last part; no matter how much I was reassured that nobody was going to get hurt.

Alice just rolled her eyes.

"_You_ should especially be careful. Don't think I wouldn't know if you decided to set off on a wild goose chase through the woods." She smiled a tapped the side of her head. I couldn't help but smile back as I leaned forward and hugged her.

Then Alice stepped back beside Edward. They stood still and silent for a moment before vanishing into the dark forest.

I stood in silence for a moment as if in a trance.

"Are you ready?" Jacob's husky voice seemed to draw me back to the present as he walked up behind me. I turned around and slowly stepped towards him. He scooped me up and tucked me carefully into his chest. He crinkled his nose.

"Geez Bella. You stink!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever Jake. Let's go."

"Yes m'am." Jacob carefully adjusted his arms beneath me. Holding me a lot closer than was necessary, he leaned over to grab my bag from the ground, swiftly swinging it over his shoulder before placing his arm back underneath me. I felt my cheeks getting warm from being uncomfortably close to his too-warm body.

I tried pushing myself away from him, but I doubt he even noticed I was doing anything.

"Umm Jacob? A little room here maybe?" I looked down at his arms. He looked down confused but then rolled his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry, didn't mean to be so insensitive." He stifled back a laugh and readjusted his arms. "Now let's go!"

Jacob took off in to the trees at an easy jog, jumping over any obstacles in his way. He continued to run through the trees and away from the coming danger. Away from the people I loved most in this world

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**AN: Hi! I hope you enjoyed my beginning! **

**Dedicated to Emma (Amoeba buddy!!), Emily (best sister ever), and Ashley (best friend ever!! Thanks for introducing me to Twilight!). I love you guys!!**

**Reviews are VERY greatly appreciated! Please let me know what you think! Is this worth continuing?**


	2. Snow

x o x o

As Jacob carried me through the darkening forest and the temperature dropped with it, I became more and more glad that I was so close to someone so warm.

I shivered and Jacob automatically pulled me closer to his chest.

I winced. Well, maybe I wasn't _that_ glad.

"So where exactly are we going?" I looked around, trying to figure out where we could possibly be, but it just looked like any other part of the forest.

"You'll see when we get there. Patience Bella!" He smiled down at me, and despite how much I didn't really want to, I smiled back.

Soon, we came to a small clearing at the side of a sheer rock face. Once we were out of the shelter of the forest, we could feel the wind blowing fiercely through the trees and air around us. Behind us, the sound of wood cracking and breaking echoed through the forest.

Jacob put me down and started rummaging through the huge backpack he had brought. At first I was relieved not to be so uncomfortably close to him anymore, but then I just started to get cold. I had a sudden urge to run and jump back in to his strong, warm arms. To let him protect me against the cold snow and wind of the oncoming storm, that Alice had correctly predicted. I quickly shook off the feeling and looked up into the clouds.

In the short time I was standing there waiting, small snowflakes began to fall from the darkening sky. I watched as one fell and landed on my sleeve. I watched as it stayed there for a moment, cold, beautiful, and absolutely perfect, before melting away from this earth forever. I looked away. For some reason, the thought of that snowflake disappearing like that made me shiver.

I think I knew what that reason was.

"Can you stop standing there like an idiot and help me?" I turned around and saw that Jacob had already pulled out a small green tent and was starting to set it up. I rolled my eyes and went to join him.

"Put those together." He ordered pointing to a bundle of poles on the ground.

"Yes sir." I whispered to myself sarcastically as I picked up the bundle and started straightening them out. Jacob finished positioning the material against the sheltering rock face and turned to me, waiting for the poles still laying tangled in my hands. He put his hands on his hips and pretended to look at an invisible watch on his wrist.

Oh so he wanted to be like that did he?

I threw the poles at him, turned around, and stalked away to the other side of the clearing. I spotted a pile of needles underneath a pine tree and sat down, facing away from where Jacob continued to fumble with the mass of poles, pegs, material and who knows what else.

I looked up at the sky through the branches of the tree. It was slowly turning an ominous shade of black as even more snow began to fall and swirl around in the wind. I could almost feel the temperature slowly dropping as the storm drew nearer.

My hands unconsciously moved to the bracelet around my wrist. I moved my fingers over the small wooden wolf and cold crystal heart. Suddenly, I remembered what I had been thinking on the way up the mountain. I lifted my wrist to eye level and looked closely at my graduation present from Edward. Was it really a diamond like I thought? It must be worth a fortune! Just thinking about it made me blush a little. How could Edward give me something so expensive? Now things were thrown even more out of proportion. He knows that I would never accept it if I had known.

But I didn't know. I was going to have to talk to him about it next time I saw him.

_Next time I saw him._

I didn't know when the next time I would see him would be. What if I never saw him again? Just that thought sent chills down my spine that had absolutely nothing to do with the weather. He had left once, and I had lived through that. But this was different. I couldn't, I wouldn't, live through him leaving this way.

I realized that there were tears running down my face.

"Bella?" Jacob's loud husky voice echoed against the rock wall. It shook me out of my trance. I carefully wiped away the tears and took a deep breath. Calming myself.

I stood up and brushed myself off. I hadn't even noticed it, but the wind had picked up more and the snow wasn't really falling anymore. It was blowing and swirling around. I just hadn't noticed it while sitting under the tree.

I took another breath and made my way to the tent. As I tried to walk I could feel the freezing wind and snow pushing me back. It was going to be a long, cold night.

x o x o

**A/N: Hi everybody! thanks for reading chapter 2!**

**I'm not sure when chapter 3 will be out. I'm not exactly a very fast writer if you haven't noticed lol.**

**Please review! I always love reading them!!**


	3. Heat

x o x o

_It was going to be a long cold night._

Now that was the biggest understatement I had every made. It wasn't just cold, it was absolutely freezing! I was curled up in a tight ball inside the sleeping bag Jacob had given me, and even underneath that and all of my clothes, my teeth were still chattering together like crazy.

Jacob was sitting close beside me. I have no idea how he couldn't be cold. He had sacrificed his thick wool sweater to me, insisting that he really wasn't cold and had brought it for me anyways. He just sat there in his t-shirt staring at me, worry filling his eyes. He seemed so lost as he watched me shiver, and try to sleep without any success.

As the hours dragged themselves by, very few words were passed between us. Whenever we did speak it was usually only Jacob asking me if there was anything he could do, and me answering him with a "no", or an "I don't know".

It was around three when I noticed a glimmer of an idea in Jacob's eyes.

He seemed hesitant when he spoke next. "Umm, Bella?"

"Y-y-y-y-yeah?" I shivered.

"Umm." He tried to say something but then just shrugged. I looked at him in confusion.

Suddenly he leaned over and unzipped my sleeping bag. He climbed inside, nearly squashing me in the tight space, and zipped it up behind him.

"Jake!" I cried in alarm trying to push him away, (which was completely impossible). What did he think he was doing?

"Well, there's no way you're going to warm yourself up by yourself. And I don't really want to be responsible if you freeze to death." As he was talking he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to his warm body than I wanted to be. "I know the leech won't be too happy about this." I gave him a look. "Sorry. Anyways, I know the le- Edward won't be too happy about this but would he rather you get frostbite? No, I didn't think so."

As he was talking I could feel his warmth starting to make its way into my skin. I heard my chattering start to slow, and then stop altogether.

"There, now isn't that better than freezing all night?" He winced as I put my cold hand on his arm. "I take that as a yes."

x o x o

The next morning I woke up alone in the tent. I was still toasty warm, so Jacob must not have let very long ago. I sighed and stared up at the bright ceiling of the tent.

I wondered what Edward was doing now. It was only yesterday that I had last seen him, but I still missed him. No matter how cold I was last night, I wished he were there too; right beside me. I didn't exactly want him and Jacob to switch places; I just wanted them both to be here and safe.

Maybe I should have asked him to be here with me. Would that even change the outcome of the battle? If anything, it might make the Cullen's and the werewolves' chances even more slim. Even with the supernatural on my side I guess there wasn't really going to be any way of knowing the answer.

My stomach began to rumble.

I sighed and sat up. I leaned over and searched through the backpack Jacob had brought with us. As I ate I still thought more about the Edward and the Cullen's.

I hadn't even heard Jacob approach when suddenly he was opening the tent.

'Good morning." He seemed to be a very good mood this morning. He looked up and smiled at me. Like the day before, I couldn't help but smile back.

Suddenly, I remembered why we were actually here in the first place.

"Do you know when they'll get there?" He knew what I was talking about.

"About an hour and a half. Seth will be here soon." I knew what that meant. The plan was, when Seth got here, Jacob would leave and join the fight. It was going to be torture knowing that Edward and Jacob were down there fighting, when I had no idea what was going on, until the very end. Seth wouldn't be able to both know what was happening and be able to tell me at the same time. I was going to have to wait.

Jake crawled out of the tent but I didn't hear him walk away. After a couple minutes I followed. Just as I looked up I saw the sandy wolf that was Seth, emerge from the forest. Jacob walked up to Seth and brought him back into the forest. I assumed the had something to talk about that he didn't want me to hear, so I just stood there, waiting for them to return.

After only a couple minutes they returned. Seth was still in his wolf form, so it must have been that Jacob just wanted to tell Seth something. I wonder what? Jacob walked up to me and took my hand.

"I'm going now." He stared at me for a moment.

He must have misinterpreted something in my eyes, because suddenly he leaned forward, grabbed my face in his burning hands and kissed me. My eyes widened in shock. What did he think he was doing! I tried to push myself away from him, but he only tightened his grip.

"Come on Bella," I felt his warm breath against my cheek as he whispered in my ear. "Why bother denying your feelings for me? You love me. Just face the facts."

He slid his hand down my back to my waist, pulling me closer to him.

"Jacob, I do love you. But not like this." I put my hands on his chest, still trying to push him away. Though it wasn't really working.

He just ignored me and moved his lips back to mine. He continued kissing me, getting mad when I didn't respond. I felt his hands grabbing my shoulders roughly as he continued to explore me mouth with his. He moved his mouth along my jaw for a moment before returning to my lips.

I kept trying to push him away, still without any success.

Suddenly he seemed to notice what I was trying to do and his lips ripped away from mine. He took a step back. His black eyes looked hurt as they stared back into mine.

"Jake-" I began, walking towards him.

"I have to go Bella." He turned on his heel and sprinted away into the forest. I could almost feel the hurt rolling off his body as he went.

My legs gave out and I collapsed into the snow, tears already running down my cheeks.

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**A/N: Ok, I think I know what you're thinking. "This chapter is SOOO much like the book!" **

**I'm sorry. :( I haven't been feeling very creative lately, and I thought that this just fit into what I was doing. And I know you want more Edward, I hear you!! He'll be back soon! I love him just as much as you do, and there's no way I'll keep him away for TOO much longer.**

**Please Review?! You know how much I love reading them!! 3**


	4. Pain

x o x o

It must have been nearly half an hour when I finally rose from where I fell.

I wiped the tears away and looked around for Seth. He was standing a little ways into the forest, looking away from me, and towards where I knew the fight would be going on now. He had his head cocked to the side and seemed to be concentrating on something I couldn't see or hear.

Suddenly, his whole, huge body went rigid as his ears perked up and looked in a different direction. At first he growled, but then he whined and ran back beside me.

We stared into each others faces. Mine must have looked confused (and probably red and blotchy from crying), but the look on his was unmistakable.

He looked completely and utterly terrified.

That look alone sent my heart beating wildly. What had happened? Why was he so scared? Was somebody hurt? Or worse? At that thought I started hyperventilating. This was all my fault! Why did my bad luck have to affect everyone I loved too? Why couldn't it just affect _me_ like it was supposed to?

Suddenly, as Seth and I continued to stare at each other, I realized that he wouldn't look _scared _if something had happened to someone else.

He would look that scared if something was going to happen to _us_.

For a second I felt relieved. Nothing had happened to anybody. Then I felt even more terrified than Seth looked.

Seth looked away from me and back towards the forest. He pushed me back towards the rock wall, growling and showing his huge teeth.

Whoever it was must be close.

I tried looking around Seth's massive shoulders and in to the woods, knowing I wouldn't be able to see or hear anything with my weak human senses, but trying nevertheless.

Seth turned his head to the left, where a tall, blonde boy walked slowly in to the clearing. His eyes were a bright shade of red.

He was a newborn.

I couldn't breathe. How could he find us? How did he get past the Cullens and the pack? As another vampire emerged from the forest, I knew the answer. They had been cowardly and gone around where the fight was taking place. They had come for one reason.

To find me.

The next vampire to come in to the clearing had orange hair, and seemed almost cat-like as she walked.

Victoria smiled in triumph when her black eyes finally rested on me. The only protection I had here, away from my entire vampire family, and most of the tribe, was one young werewolf. She knew that she had won.

"Bella," She greeted, her lips drew farther back over her teeth, in a menacing grin. "It's been too long."

I just glared at her over Seth's trembling body.

"But where's Edward? It seems he left you alone here, with but a mere _guard dog_ as protection. But you know what we can do. He," She motioned towards Seth in front of me, "Won't be here much longer. Won't dear Edward be _so_ upset to find your mangled body lying here, and your not-so-brave protector gone without a trace? Running away. Too afraid to fulfil the task trustingly given to him. How sad." She smirked at Seth as a low, frightening sound erupted from his chest.

I clenched my fists in fury. Why was she bringing Seth in to this? He had nothing to do with it!

I noticed the newborn's eyes darting from me, to Victoria and back again. He was trying so hard not to let his instincts take over, and attack the blood he could smell so near.

My blood.

"Patience Riley." Victoria turned and cooed to him. "You'll have your fun soon enough." She looked back at me and pretended to stretch, as if getting ready for a workout. But what she was about to do wouldn't be even close to a workout for her.

"Now where were we? Ah yes, James." She began to pace in front of Seth, who didn't take his eyes off of her or Riley. He was still growling, but I could almost feel the fear and defeat rolling off his warm fur.

"Your mutt there seems upset about something. I see no reason why though. He doesn't have to be part of this in any way. He could just leave, go howl at the moon or something. I won't hurt him." I could hear a hint of something behind her words. Like she wasn't telling the whole truth. She wasn't going to let him leave so easily, but she wasn't going to say that out loud.

Victoria gave Riley a look and turned back towards me. She lowered her body to the ground and settled into a cat-like crouch. She tilted her head, like a lion watching its prey. Seth moved slightly, so he was somehow between me and both Riley and Victoria.

Suddenly, Riley lunged at Seth, knocking him in to the rock face beside me. I gasped and jumped to the side as the huge collision sent the ground shaking and rocks tumbling to the ground. My eyes widened in shock as they rolled around, grabbing at each other and trying to bite each other. If Seth bit Riley, then he could tear the vampire apart, but if Riley got Seth, then it would kill him.

I heard a sound and turned just in time to see Victoria lunge at me with super-human speed, her black eyes glistened. She knocked me against the rock wall and I cried out as pain shot through my whole entire body. I couldn't tell where it came from, but I heard a loud crack that was probably from more than one place. I crumpled to the ground as Victoria landed gracefully beside me in a squat.

She shot out her arm and punched me in the face. I slid along the ground and realized that she had definitely not used her full strength, because of she had I would be dead.

"This is for James." She growled at me. I could hear Riley and Seth fighting against the rock face, but above everything I could hear a low humming sound.

I felt myself being lifted up by the neck. She was choking me. I heard her laugh as I kicked in every direction and tried to pry her fingers away from my throat, even though her iron grasp couldn't be broken by a mere human such as me. I felt my oxygen-deprived body begin to shut down, and my attempts at escape began to weaken. Her hands tightened. It felt as though she were millimetres away from ripping out my neck. My weak link to life.

Suddenly a huge bundle of fur burst out of nowhere as Seth momentarily escaped from Riley. Victoria was temporarily distracted and I once again dropped to the hard, cold ground. I gasped as I tried to breathe, to get air into my body. I turned and through my blurry eyes I saw Riley's wild eyes focus on me. His lips curled back in a sneer, but before he could lunge and kill me, Seth flew across my view, blocking the newborn from my sight.

I was still trying to force air into my stubborn lungs, but my subconscious was feeling pain. Not physical pain, I couldn't feel that quite yet, but painful regret that young, inexperienced, Seth had to be here to protect me. I wanted so much to yell at him to run, to warn the others of who was behind the attack, but I could hardly breathe. How would I be able to shout to him?

Victoria came out of nowhere again. Suddenly she was on top of me, pinning my arms to the ground. I felt one of them give away as she increased the strength pushing me in to the frozen ground. I heard a piercing scream of agony. When I opened my eyes, I saw her face filled with unimaginable fury. She was going to stretch this out like James never got a chance to in the ballet studio. I could see it in her eyes. She was going to make me pay. She was going to make me scream in tortured agony until I was unable to scream any more.

I felt blood and tears of pain running down my cheeks as I heard yet another crack from somewhere on my body. I knew I was in shock. I knew my body was trying to escape from the pain, it was trying to pull me down into protective darkness where it couldn't reach me. I fought against it. Even though I knew it was impossible, I wanted to fight. To get away. I wanted to see Edward one more time. To hear is beautiful voice. To feel his cool, smooth skin on mine.

She pulled me up one more time and I felt myself flying through the air briefly before slamming in to something hard. I felt a sharp pain, but I couldn't tell exactly where on my body it came from. I felt like a rag doll as my body went limp.

I was going to die. I was going to die here in the middle of the woods, while my family and friends fought for me. Oblivious to anything happening here. It was going to be exactly as Victoria had said. They were going to come here, expecting me to be waiting. To fling myself at Edward with tears if relief running down my face. They would be safe. Everything would be ok. But instead they would find me lying here, broken, bloody, and mangled.

Through my blurred eyes (now wet with the blood running down from somewhere one my head) I could see her walking towards me. The last thing I saw was her raising her arms, before the blackness sucked me under, where there were no vampires, no werewolves, no Victoria, and no pain.

x o x o

**A/N: Hi! I stayed up extra late to finish this chapter for you!! Feel special!! **

**I was feeling kind of...umm. cough violent? tonight... I wanted to write about pain, and suffering, and bones breaking... so I did.. yeah, I have those violent moment sometimes... I guess they're inspired by you Emma! LOL! love you!**

**Yeah.. So please Review!! I want to know what you think about my... um... interesting scene between Bella, and Victoria. Was it all you hoped for? Was it less than satisfactory? Well I dont know unless you tell me! And there's only one way to do that! wink wink nudge nudge**

**BTW. I'm sorry my A/N is so long... lol :)**


	5. Desicion

**This has none of Bella's POV just Edward and Jacob. I couldn' think of any other way to do it.. I hope you like it!**

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x oEdwardx o

I lunged at super-human speed towards the unsuspecting newborn. It had been contemplating whether or not it would attack a nearby werewolf or not.

I should know. I could hear his thoughts loud and clear in my head.

I ripped off its head and tossed it in to a burning pile of vampire parts behind me. It continued to try and grab me, but I just kept ripping and tearing away. I heard the sound of metallic screeching and tearing all around me as the last of the newborns were taken care of.

The sooner they were gone, the sooner Bella would be safe.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar gasp. I immediately focused in on Alice's thoughts.

"_Edward!_" Her thoughts cried out to me in panic. We locked eyes. She replayed her vision through her thoughts. My breath caught in my throat.

Alice had seen Bella being attacked by Victoria. She had seen Bella dead.

"No!" I cried out in agony.

Alice was at my side in a second. Jacob's thoughts raced as he noticed the distressed look in our eyes. His thoughts automatically jumped to the right conclusion.

"_Bella."_

At that, he turned and raced into the forest at top speed.

I was about to follow him when I heard Alice's thoughts.

"_We have to tell Carlisle. We can't just leave without him knowing._" I nodded and raced to where our adopted father stood watching as two werewolves took down the last visible newborn. Piles of burning corpses lay smouldering in random spots throughout the clearing. I ignored everything but Carlisle's face. In my head I could still see the look of torturous pain in Bella's face.

We quickly explained everything to him in a blur of words. Without saying a word he picked up his black bag from beside him and followed us as we raced through the damp forest.

x oJacobx o

As I arrived at the clearing, a terrifying scene met my eyes.

Seth was distracted, fighting a tall blonde newborn. They were slowly making their way towards the forest, large sounds and cracks sounded from the mass of fur and pale skin. There was a pool of blood at the foot of the rock face that trailed over to where Bella was lying unmoving beneath a tree. Both her, and the ground below her were covered with the dark red blood.

An orange haired, cat-like female vampire was making her way slowly towards her still body. Before I could even think, I was pulling her apart into the smallest pieces I could. She screamed and writhed in agony. I felt joy in her screams. I was glad I could cause her pain, make her feel my anger for what she had done to Bella. Watched for a second as the newborn and Seth disappeared in to the forest. Seth was definitely winning so I just continued with what I was doing.

When I had finished and set fire to the pile of limbs, I ran to Bella's side and looked in to her bloody face. I could hardly recognize her beautiful face beneath the mess. She was still breathing, but only lightly. I could hear the pain it was causing her to do even that.

"Bella! Please, no! Come back to me! Listen to me Bella!" I touched her hand and by only that, I could tell it was broken. I heard a howl of agony behind me.

Edward, Alice, and Carlisle had arrived.

x oEdwardxo

As I entered the clearing I saw Jacob look up from Bella's side. I cried out in anguish when I looked at the limp form beside him. I looked back up and he locked eyes with me. I felt a wave of pain and worry emanating from his mind. He was too overwhelmed for any clear thoughts to form, and then he was running in to the woods where Seth and a newborn had disappeared.

Then I saw Bella.

I was at her side in a second and dropped to my knees. I wanted so much to hold her safe in my arms, but I was too afraid to even touch her.

A million different emotions overwhelmed me as I looked down at her horribly limp body. It looked as if every bone in her body was broken. Blood was streaming from her face and head. The number of injuries seemed to go on and on; each one sending a new wave of misery, horror, and uncontrollable rage coursing through me.

"No Bella! No, please. No, no!" I could still hear her heart beating, but it was very faint. I could also hear her breath moving in and out of her labouring lungs. It seemed so slow, it was hard to believe that she was still alive. But she was.

"Bella! Listen to me, please! Hold on! Please, don't leave me. Please, Bella, please, no, no, no!" I noticed that I was heaving dry sobs. If I were human, tears would be streaming down my cheeks.

I could hardly think of anything but her smiling face. I knew that I should be moving over, giving Carlisle room to check her over. To see if there was any chance that she could be saved. Part of my mind was trying to tell me that nothing was going to happen to her, that everything was going to be fine. That it just looked worse than it was.

The other part was trying to face reality. There was nothing we could do. Nothing could save her now.

I heard Carlisle and Alice rush to my side. Carlisle already had his bag open and was taking almost everything out from it.

That was a bad sign.

I tore my eyes away from Bella's face and looked in to Carlisle's. I could hear him naming off all of her injuries in his head as he tried to figure out the worst of them. His thoughts had an edge of desperation to them as his hands worked.

I could see short moments of visions flashing through Alice's thoughts, and suddenly she raced away into the forest, returning moments later with an armful of straight branches for braces. After putting them down, she backed away and closed her eyes. I could still see the flurry of pictures continuously flashing through her mind. It was pretty overwhelming for her.

As Carlisle worked in a panicked rush, I looked down into Bella's face. If my heart could beat, it would be racing. I ran my fingers through her blood-soaked hair. For the first time in my overly long life, I felt completely and utterly helpless. More so than I had ever felt in my entire life. It was a new and frightening feeling; and I didn't like it.

It was several minutes after Carlisle's thoughts slowly became more downcast when I heard something unexpected flash through them.

He was thinking that we should change Bella into one of us.

My eyes widened as I looked back up at his face. To my surprise he had stopped working and was looking seriously into my eyes. I knew what he was thinking but he spoke out loud anyways.

"I can't help her anymore Edward. There's just too much damage." I felt my whole body go numb.

I looked down at Bella, _my_ Bella. My beautiful, warm, trusting Bella. I felt so torn. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't condemn her to a life like mine. Like ours. I didn't want that for her. She deserved so much better than to be a blood sucking monster.

To be what I am.

"She's dying Edward. I don't know how much longer I can keep her with us. There's nothing I can do without proper equipment, and even with that… She's not in good shape. I would never ask this of you if there were any other way." His thoughts and the look on his face was so sincere, I had to believe him. There was no other way.

I closed my eyes. I put my head in my hands in defeat.

"I could do it... if you prefer?" Carlisle didn't really want to be the one to do it. It wouldn't feel right to him. It was my decision. Bella's decision.

And she had already decided.

I lifted my head up in alarm. Bella's breathing had stopped. The heartbeat that I had learned to know so well; the heartbeat that meant more to me than anything else in the whole world, had stuttered for a moment, before giving one last thump.

Carlisle was giving her CPR in less than a second.

"Edward," For the first time in nearly 100 years, Carlisle's face looked desperate and terrified. "If you want her to live do it now!"

I felt a wave of determination. I wasn't going to let her die. Not now. Not like this. According to Carlisle, the only way I could possibly save her was to get my venom as close to her heart as possible.

I was concentrating too much to even notice the irony as I leaned down, gently pulled Bella's hair away and bit her neck.

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**A/N: Hey everybody!! For some reason it took me a while to write this chapter. i dont know why. Also, in my opnion it doesn't really flow as well as i would like it to.. but oh well, that can't be helped. PLEASE REVIEW!! :D You're all amazing!! xoxo**

**OMG! Quick horror story! While I was writing this I got up to go do something and when i came back i saw a piece of fluff kind of moving across the couch and I was like "hmm Thats odd.. oh well". So I picked it up and it was squishy so I threw it on to my table beside my couch... Turns out it was a giant spider!! I'm completely freaked out now!! It was crawling across the couch and I picked it up!! eww!! and then it was dead when i saw it on the table!! shivers I hate spiders!! Shivers again**


	6. Agony

* * *

x oEdwardx o

After biting Bella's neck I moved my tongue over the mark, automatically sealing it with my venom. She had lost so much blood already. There had to be enough for her to live just a little longer, and I wasn't taking any chances. I quickly moved on to her wrists, the crease at her elbows, anywhere where major arteries were easily accessible.

Suddenly, as I was closing up the last bite, I noticed the burning feeling in my throat. I hadn't even noticed it before. Bella's blood was awakening my instincts. I could smell it everywhere. I was sitting in a pool of it, it was right in front of me, and I was covered in it.

As strongly as it called to me, it wasn't even remotely powerful enough to pull my attention away from Bella. Carlisle was still performing CPR, but soon after I bit her neck, her heart seemed to start beating on its own. There was nothing we could do now but wait.

I knew that she was unconscious at the moment and wouldn't feel the pain just yet, but she would wake up soon, and it would hit her hard. I couldn't imagine how it was going to feel for her.

I absolutely loathed myself for causing her so much pain, even if she wasn't feeling it yet.

While Carlisle and I had been busy on Bella, Alice had taken down the tent and was now searching the woods for Seth and the newborn.

Carlisle and I sat in silence, waiting for her to return. At first, Carlisle had packed away all his equipment into his bag, but now we were sitting on either side of Bella, staring at her lifeless body, waiting. Her heart was still beating. A sound that meant more to me than anything else in the whole world. It was a sound that I had always taken for granted. Now, it was the only sound I was concentrating on. Other than her voice, it was the only sound I wanted to hear.

But I wouldn't be hearing it for very much longer.

I put my hand softly on Bella's blood-covered cheek. I felt its familiar warmth and then the strange sensation of tears that would never come to exist in my eyes.

Why her? Why did this have to happen to her? The exact moment I couldn't, no not couldn't; wasn't. The exact moment I wasn't be there to protect her. My mind filled with the harsh feeling of regret. If only I had been there to keep her safe. I know she had wanted me to be here for her, I just thought she was overreacting. Now her body lay tortured and broken in the middle of nowhere. She was so fragile…

My thoughts were interrupted by movement beneath my hand. I looked down and noticed that Bella was moving. Her eyes were still closed and she was trying to open them, but when she started to move I could tell that the pain had begun to set in.

The look on her face sent horror through me. She cringed at first, but then she softly began to whimper as the venom started spreading through her body, but it hadn't reached the majority of her injuries yet. She could still feel those on top of the torturous burning. I couldn't imagine how she must be feeling. I wished I could take all her pain away, take it away and put it inside myself. I couldn't just sit here and let this happen to her. She was my life. No, she was more than that. As corny as it sounded, she was my everything.

"Bella?" I gently stroked her cheek as I whispered to her. "Can you hear me? I love you Bella. Hold on. Everything's going to be alright. Just hold on,"

As another louder whimper escaped her lips, I pulled her body into my safe embrace. I held her as close to my body as she could get. I felt her clutching at my shirt as hard as her weak hands possibly could. Through her incoherent whimpers I could hear her whispering my name. Every time she did I felt an unfamiliar cold fire rush into my body.

"_Edward,_" Carlisle thought softly, breaking my trance. "_We need to… To let everybody know. We need to move her. This isn't the best place for her._" I looked up from Bella and nodded. Carlisle rose and went to find Alice. I felt grateful for the privacy.

I took a deep breath, filling myself with her mouth-watering scent. This would be one of the last times I would ever smell it.

Her quiet whimpering had slowly begun to get louder. They were starting to turn into cries and screams. I gently stroked her hair and face, pulled her even closer to me and rocked back and forth.

"Shh, Bella, shh. It's ok. You'll be ok. Shh." I whispered softly in her ear. She cried out again. The venom hadnt yet reached her face and tears were now running down her face.

I knew all too well what she was going through.

Carlisle re-entered the clearing. His thoughts told me that Alice had found and brought Seth back to the pack, and that we were going to have to leave now. I nodded to him.

I looked down into Bella's agonized face, and slowly stroked her hair one more time. I gently put my hands underneath her and lifted her limp body into my arms, whispering in her ear as I did.

I winced as I lifted her. It forced me to feel how broken she really was. A wave of fury rippled down my spine. If I hadn't been holding her, the most important thing in my entire life, I would probably be crushing anything and everything I could get my hands on. I wished I had caused Victoria more pain when I had ripped her in to shreds, but there was nothing I could do about it now. There were more important things now than feeling regret for that.

Suddenly, her piercing scream rang out through the forest, echoing off the rock wall. The sound gave sent another giant wave of emotions surging through me; sadness, worry, rage, and most of all, the thunderous rage.

I looked back down at her as we made our way through the forest. Her eyes were wide open, staring piercingly into mine, saying more things to me than words ever could.

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**A/N: Hey! thanks for reading chapter 6!! As you can kinda tell, I really enjoy drawing things out lol. Also, thank you everybody who is reviewing! You have no idea how much I appreciate it! They always make me so happy! :) I'm also always glad to know that people enjoy what I'm writing. Constructive criticism is always welcome!**

**I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up. It is Thanksgiving weekend and all! Oh, and I'm waiting to get my copy of Breaking Dawn back, I need to look up something in it... I might not need to though.. So i dont know..**

**Anyhoo.. Review away my pretties! Review away! :D**


	7. Venom

**This is pretty much what happened in the last chapter only from Bella's POV. Just thought i should tell you beforehand in case you don't like things repeated like this.**

* * *

x o x o

As the darkness around me faded a little, I began to notice my surroundings. I was sitting up, leaning against something cold and hard. Ice maybe? I could faintly feel a strange pumping motion against my chest, like my heart was outside my body. What was happening?

For a moment I was numb and could feel the strange sensation of all of my broken bones, without any pain. But after a moment I felt the pain coming.

The last thing I could remember seeing before I succumbed to the blackness of unconsciousness was that Victoria was coming towards me. I was thinking that it would be the last thing I would ever see in my too-short life. That I would never again hear Alice's wind chime voice. That I would never again hear Emmett laugh at the klutziness that only a human like me could possess. That I would never again sit in Jacob's garage drinking warm soda from a paper bag. That I would never again see Edward's heartbreakingly beautiful face.

How was this much pain possible if I were dead? Because there was no way I could be alive. Not after that. Not after all those ominous cracks I had heard, or after seeing all that blood. It had all come from _me_. That thought alone stunned me. There was no way a human could be able to survive a vampire attack once, and this was my second time. Even if Edward had miraculously found me, there was no way he would be able to resist all that blood. It would be so much more difficult for him than it would be for any other one of his kind.

But now, the darkness was fading, being overshadowed by something far worse. I was beginning to feel everything that Victoria had done to me. There weren't even specific points of pain, it was all blurred together. It hurt too much to try to open my eyes, so I just kept them closed and lay in confusion as the blurred sounds in the background became clearer. I listened as they became louder.

"...do it now!" I recognized Carlisle's voice. I must be dreaming. How could Carlisle be here? And I had never heard him sound so desperate in the whole time I've known him. Who was he telling to do it now? What was it?

Suddenly, there was sharp pain in my neck. I felt a strangely familiar burning slowly beginning to spread out from the spot and into my chest. The burning was beginning to eclipse everything else. It was all I could concentrate on. As agonizing as it felt though, it was still strangely familiar…

Then it hit me. The feeling was familiar because I had felt the exact same thing before. Only it had been a different spot. It had been in my hand. I remembered it so well, the mirrors… The Hunter lunging towards me…

I was being bitten by a vampire.

The pain then pierced my arms, one at a time. The vampire was biting my whole body. The spots it picked seemed too well planned. They were all places where I knew there were major arteries, which would quickly pump the venom around my body.

This had to be a dream. How could a vampire concentrate on biting me like this when there was so much blood around? Why wasn't it draining it from me? How was it resisting?

An unexpected thought sent a small thrill of hope through me. What if it was Edward that Carlisle had been talking to? What if he was the one that was changing me?

I felt a cool hand on my cheek. It felt good against my burning face. I tried to move, to open my eyes and see who was here with me; who was changing me.

As I tried, I felt a dull pain shoot through me. I had almost forgotten about my injuries. I had been concentrating too much on the venom.

From somewhere not far above me I heard something I thought I would never hear again, a voice that I wouldn't hesitate to trade the world for. A voice that I wouldn't hesitate to trade my soul for.

Edward.

"Bella?" I felt his cold hand on my cheek again. "Can you hear me? I love you Bella. Hold on. Everything's going to be alright. Just hold on."

I must have responded in some way, because I felt him pull me up into an iron embrace. It hurt for him to move me like that, but I didn't care, as long as he was here with me. I felt his face in my hair.

With all the strength I could muster (which wasn't very much) I reached out for him and ended up holding onto his shirt. My face was pressed up against him and through the pain I could still smell his sweet scent.

Suddenly, the fire raging in my veins, got even more intense as it reached one of my injuries and began to heal it. Through my muffled ears, I heard a loud cry ring out somewhere nearby. It took me a moment to comprehend that it was mine.

"Shh, Bella, shh. It's ok. You'll be ok. Shh." I heard his voice closer this time, in my ear. I wanted so much to say something back to him. To let him know that I could hear him, and that I didn't want him to leave me.

I could still feel the burning moving slowly through my veins. Now it was licking at my eyes, already going past my cheeks. I couldn't even feel Edward's hand resting there anymore, though I knew it was still there. I couldn't even remember how long Alice said it would take for the venom to completely spread through my body.

I couldn't concentrate on anything else but the relentless burning; slowly turning me into what Edward had called the "eternally damned". What he was.

A vampire.

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**A/N: Hey everybody! I was reading your reviews!! Thank you soo much for them! i really truly appreciate them!! 3**

**I'm sorry if you found Chapter 6 boring. :( I really wanted to do a chapter of our dear Edward's thoughts and there wasn't really much that could happen so I guess I kinda blabbered on... I'm sorry. **

**Anyhoo.. please review! (Hey that rhymed!! hehe)**


	8. Thoughts

* * *

x oEdwardx o

For the whole three days that Bella was changing, I never left her side. No matter what my family tried to tell me; that it wasn't my fault, that I shouldn't feel so guilty, that changing her had been the right decision, I couldn't help but feel guilt and pain.

Carlisle and I had brought her back to the house. After Carlisle had given her a quick check over he concluded that there was absolutely nothing that we could do but wait, then he had left to find out what was happening with the rest of the family and the pack.

He had been gone a long time and I wanted more than anything to find out what was happening. I hated feeling so in the dark, but I couldn't bear to leave Bella's side. I didn't even know if she was aware that I was beside her, but I didn't care. There was no way I could leave her like this, not when I had been the reason behind it.

I felt like the most egotistical creature in the world. I shouldn't have made her go through this. Not when it was causing her so much agony. I had made a split-second decision, and now I wasn't sure if it was even the right one. Sure, I knew that I would be feeling this even if Bella had been conscious and aware of what was happening, but this was worse. I wouldn't know if this is really what she wanted after all, until it finished happening. What if there was a reason she didn't want me to be there in the forest with her? What if something had happened there between her and Jacob? What if she didn't want to be one of us anymore? What if she didn't want _me_ anymore?

These were all questions that I wouldn't know the answer to until the three days were up. Until the venom had spread through her. Until it was too late to go back.

She called my name a lot, but she called Jacob's too. There was no way of knowing why she did or if she was just doing it without realizing it.

Another question had been nagging me while I sat by Bella's side. Where had Jacob gone after Alice, Carlisle and I had entered the clearing? I could read his mind but he hadn't been thinking clearly. Why would he leave when Bella was so hurt? He cared about her too. Maybe he could guess what was going to happen to her. Maybe he could guess that we were going to change her into one of us and had just given up on her. For the first time ever, I felt a pang of sympathy for Jacob. It wasn't his fault that he just happened to be a huge, reeking mutt. He was still human… well partly human.

After Carlisle and the rest of the family had come back later that night, they all told me what had happened, and why they hadn't been back earlier. Everybody was fine, but apparently the prediction Alice had made that morning had been true. The Volturi had decided to intercede. They just happened to arrive as the last newborns were being destroyed.

Nice timing. They didn't really care what happened to us. They wanted us gone. Even though I hadn't been there to read their thoughts I knew what they had been thinking. They had been hoping that the eighteen newborns would be enough to pick away at our family. To take down a couple of us. The only reason they came, was to check on the damage they had done, and because they had to.

They had asked about Bella, but Alice had arrived just in time to show them that she was being changed as they spoke.

Alice had originally left us to find Seth. And she did. He had been lying beside a burning pile of vampire limbs, barely able to move. It took her a while, but Alice had finally convinced him to phase back. After making sure that he was ok enough to get home, she had continued on her way to the baseball clearing.

I hadn't had a chance to do it yet, but what I wanted, no, what I needed to do, was to find and thank Seth. If it weren't for him… well if it weren't for him, Bella wouldn't be lying here in absolute agony, she would be dead. The altruistic part of me didn't want him to be there, it wanted Bella to be dead so she wouldn't have to suffer like this anymore. If Victoria had to kill her it wanted her to have killed her quickly and efficiently so that she would feel absolutely no pain.

But the slightly larger selfish part of me was eternally glad that Seth had been there. For in reality, he had practically saved her life… well, her existence.

Now, as three days were beginning to end, I could hear Bella's heartbeat beginning to change. The change was almost complete.

x oBellax o

What was only three days seemed to last a lifetime.

Everything happening outside of my body didn't seem to matter. My senses felt everything behind foggy walls. Very little of it was important. The only things I was concentrating on was Edward's soft unintelligible whispers in my ear and the feel of his hands on me. I could hardly sense either one, but I depended on them being there. Because if Edward wasn't here, then I had absolutely no reason to be here either.

Sometimes I fought against the pain and tried opening my eyes to maybe see his face, but it was just too hard.

Sometimes I was aware that there were others in the room with us, but I paid no attention to them. I was concentrating too hard on other things.

I really did try not to scream or make any noise. I knew how much that would affect him, but they always came out anyway. I knew that screaming was completely hopeless, but I just couldn't seem to control myself. Each time the venom found a new part of me it hadn't reached yet, a new wave of agony came over me. I hoped Edward was trying not to listen.

The burning venom continued to flow through me. I knew that the change was nearing completion when my heartbeat began to change.

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**A/N: Hey again! Oh man! i wrote this chapter so fast! i think it took about an hour.. Crazy!! Anyhoo, I hope I cleared up some loose ends. its kind of what i was trying to do here. I hope you like it! :) I think its a bit boring... but its kinda hard to have an exciting loose-end -tie-up chapter! lol**

**I really appreciate the reviews!! You are all amazing!! I'll try to get the next chapter out asap!**


	9. New

* * *

x oEdwardx o

I wasn't the only one to hear the change in Bella's heartbeat. Seconds after it began to quicken, my whole family had managed to converge in my room around the huge bed where Bella had been laying for the past three days.

Her heartbeat was the only sound to be heard. We all listened to it intently.

Soon it began to get faster and fast and faster as the venom tightened its vicious grip around her heart.

Suddenly, when it seemed that it couldn't beat any faster, it stopped. In everybody's thoughts I saw them look from her, to me, and back to her. The room was completely silent.

"Bella?" I gently put my hand on her arm, now the same temperature as mine.

In a flash she twisted away and was crouching in front of my wall of CD's. She growled viciously at me.

I heard a wild frenzy of thoughts shooting at me from my family. Thoughts were also shooting wildly through my mind. I was right! She really didn't want me anymore. She didn't want to be a vampire. I had made the wrong choice. The feeling of guilt suddenly overpowered every other emotion.

"Bella?" I rose and looked hesitantly over at her, sadness starting to fill me.

Suddenly, her eyes widened and she stood up straight. Her eyes were darting around the room, resting on each of the faces staring at her, finally focussing on mine.

"Edward!" She threw herself into my arms. I winced as she hugged me with the full capacity of her brand-new newborn strength.

"Ow. " She looked up at me.

"Oh! Edward I'm so sorry!" I smiled down at her to make her see that it was alright. She still looked confused so I leaned down and kissed her. I heard my family's sarcastic noises as they left to give us some privacy. They knew I wanted to be alone with her. I heard the end of something that Emmett was thinking.

"…_aren't getting any sleep tonight._"

Despite how much I wanted to go over and bash his head into a wall, I didn't. For one thing, I didn't feel like replacing one of my perfectly good walls, and for another, I didn't want to let go of Bella, but I was still confused.

"You… you still want me?" The look in her eyes when I said that made me know that I was ridiculous to ever think that she still wouldn't want me.

"Of course, I'll always want you." Her bright red eyes burned into mine. I leaned in and hugged her again.

We stood there like that for what felt like hours before we finally separated and stared into each other's faces again.

She was so beautiful. She still looked like the same old Bella, only different. She looked up at me with unfamiliar bright red eyes, but that would change with time, as her remaining blood was slowly used up. Her familiar, mouth-watering scent was almost gone, a small amount still lingered on the clothes she was still wearing from the attack. They were thoroughly stained with her blood, but it was old, and not as appealing as it once had been.

She reached up and put her hand on my cheek.

"Edward," She whispered my name, slowly moving her hand down to my neck and along my shoulder. "Everything is so different…. How was I so blind before?... You're so beautiful... "

She continued to whisper like this as she saw the world in a new light. I knew exactly how she felt. Everything she had seen before would seem so different from how she would see things now, from how the world really was. It was like comparing a general picture of the world, to a picture of every single living thing on the planet in immense detail. It was very overwhelming at first.

"Bella, would you like to go for a walk?" I held her face in my hands and looked into her eyes, distracting her from everything else.

She nodded. I took her hand and we walked downstairs together. Every few seconds she would reach out and touch a new surface to see how it felt now, or stand still and watch as some new vision distracted her. It didn't bother me though. I was just unbelievably glad that she was here beside me, and that I didn't have to force her to be there.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs, everybody looked up from the TV. They all stared at Bella, who moved closer to me. I gave her hand a small squeeze and pulled her forward. I turned to see Rosalie walk away into the kitchen, Emmett watching her as she went. Everybody else smiled at Bella and I. Bella was still being distracted by everything from the sounds of the highway from far away, to the miniscule dust particles floating through the air.

We continued through the house and out the back door. I kept shooting glances at her the whole time. I also kept making sure that there were no humans nearby to distract her even more. I wasn't sure how she would react if she smelled one. I wasn't too keen on finding out either.

Suddenly Bella stopped and turned to me. She took both my hands and looked into my face. She looked down at her hands, unsure what to say.

Finally she looked up at me, a million different emotions shining in her eyes.

"Edward, I… Did… Who…" She sighed. "What exactly happened when Victoria… You know…I mean… Were you the one who… changed me?" Curiosity burned in her eyes. I found that odd. Why did it matter? She had been dying, it was over now. What was done was done.

"Yes," I gazed lovingly into her eyes, but then looked away as I remembered. "I had no other choice. You were dying. There was so much blood…I wasn't even sure I made the right decision afterwards" I closed my eyes.

I heard her take a breath and move closer to me. She gently put her arms around me and leaned her head against my shoulder.

"You made the right choice." She whispered simply. It felt odd, her standing here with her arms around me. She was the one who had just gone through three days of agony, and _she_ was comforting _me_.

I put my arms around her and put my face in her hair. We stood there in the embrace for a while when suddenly she pulled away a bit, easily breaking my grasp.

I was going to have to get used to that.

"Can we hunt?" I heard a hint of eagerness in her voice. Then I realized how she must be feeling. She was a newborn; of course she would be feeling thirsty, no matter how much blood was still in her system.

"I'm sorry Bella. I forgot how you must be feeling. Of course we can hunt, follow me." I started running away into the forest. I could hear her not too far behind me. I was surprised to see that despite the fact that she was a newborn, I was still faster than her. It brought a sense of familiarity to an otherwise brand new situation.

I was just about to turn to a different direction to bypass a trail I knew was nearby, when I smelled a small herd of deer nearby. I stopped abruptly and turned to Bella.

"Do you smell them?" I asked.

She closed her eyes and took a sniff of the air. Her eyes shot open as a gust of wind blew the scent in our direction. She looked at me and nodded, eagerness still lighting her eyes. I motioned to her to follow me.

I lowered into a crouch and made my way through the trees in the general direction of the deer.

I heard her follow a short distance behind me. We stopped at the edge of the clearing where the deer were grazing. I motioned to Bella to attack when I did. I softly counted to three and took off.

I lunged towards the largest buck and pulled him to the ground. Before it even knew what happened, I twisted and broke its neck.

I looked over to see Bella mirroring my actions with another buck. She looked up at me and smiled proudly. I nodded to her and bent over to drain my deer.

When we were both finished I couldn't help but laugh. Bella was already a mess. She had gotten blood all over her jeans, and sweater. That was alright though. It took practice to hunt without being messy.

She looked confused for less than half a second before she realized what I was laughing about. For that same amount of time I was expecting the familiar red to colour her cheeks, but then I remembered. I was never going to see that again. That thought did make me sad, but I was going to be with her forever. That made up for everything I would lose. But living forever would never replace what I had done to her. I had taken away everything from her. I had taken her life, her family, her soul and so much more she would never even realize.

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**A/N: Hey everybody! I'm really sad! I absolutely LOVE this story but it's going to end soon :'( I wish it weren't so, but a person can have only so many ideas before they run out. I was lucky to come up with one in the first place... so i guess its only fair. Anyways. please review!!**


	10. Happy

* * *

x oBellax o

Edward and I strolled back to his house hand in hand. I felt kind of embarrassed though. I was covered from head to foot in the deer's blood, while he was completely spotless like usual. Every time I looked over at him he was looking at me and seemed to be deep in thought. What I wouldn't give to have his powers and know exactly what he was thinking about.

We were still walking in that comfortable silence that I never wan ted to end when a thought occurred to me. As much as I hated to mention it to him I just had to know.

"What does Jacob think about all this? Does he know?" Edward stopped in his tracks. He looked up through the trees and into the sky, which was now beginning to darken as the day was ending. He was silent for a couple minutes before he blinked and turned to look back into my face.

"He was the first one to find you. When he realized how bad off you were… he knew what was going to happen… He wasn't thinking clearly. " Edward's eyes seemed to be looking far away again, remembering. "He knew we were going to turn you into one of us. He couldn't handle it. I thought he was going to find Seth, but when Alice found him he was alone. No Jacob. Nobody's seen Jacob since then. " He glanced over at me, gauging how I would react to his words.

Why did Jacob do this to me? He kisses me and expects me to feel the same way back. He keeps insisting that I really did love him the same way he loved me. It wasn't like that. What was so hard to get? I loved him, but as a friend. I think I would know my own feelings. He couldn't know what I was thinking. Nobody could. Not even Edward, who was able to read everybody's mind but mine. I wished that he could know how I felt. There was no way I could explain any of this to either Edward or Jacob. It was just too hard. I felt so confused.

I felt an odd sensation in my eyes and felt my breath catching in my throat.

I was crying in the unfamiliar, tearless way of a vampire. It seemed unreal and fake with the absence of tears. So different from the regular human crying; a feeling I would never feel again.

Before I had even realized that I actually was crying I felt Edward's arms wrap around me, and his smooth, velvety voice whispering calming words in my ear. I buried my head in his shoulder, the same way I had, what felt like years ago. That had been in a different place. A different time. Then, he had been comforting me because of himself. I had felt so unsure about what was going to happen, when I would ever see him again.

Now, he was comforting me because of someone else… because of Jacob. No matter how much he seemed to hate my werewolf best friend, and how much he hated me crying over him, he was still here comforting me. Why did the two of the most important people in my life have to completely hate each other? Why couldn't they just get along?

My stuttering breath slowly began to stop as I calmed down. I lifted my head and kissed Edward's lips softly. Slowly, my mind began to clear as it blocked out everything but Edward. I wrapped my arms around his neck and threw myself into the kiss. I didn't want to think of anything. I wanted more than anything to forget about werewolves, vampires, the Volturi, Victoria, newborn vampires, the HHH

Hunter coming for me across the ballet studio, everything.

Edward kissed me fiercely. He pressed his lips into mine harder than he ever would have dared when I was still human. I kissed him back just as hard. He slid his hand down to my waist, pulling me closer to him. I moved my hand down to his neck and unbuttoned his shirt. I slid my hand down the contours of his perfect chest, forgetting everything but him and how much I loved him.

x o x o

It was early the next morning when Edward and I finally made it back to the house. As soon as we walked in the door Emmett came running to meet us. He stopped in front of us.

"Well? How was your first "night" as a vampire? Did you two enjoy yourselves? Didn't everything feel so much _more_ than as a human?" A mischievous grin spread across his face. Edward threw him a dark look but Emmett didn't seem to care, he just laughed.

We pushed by Emmett as he continued to laugh hysterically. Suddenly, Alice came dancing down the stairs. She stopped in front of me and gave me a hug. It was the first kind of reunion we actually had since I became a vampire. I hugged her back, careful not to exert too much of my newborn strength.

Suddenly, I realized the clothes I was wearing were still covered in blood. I backed away and looked down at them. It was dry, but it was still embarrassing. Alice's eyes brightened as she realized what that meant. I heard Edward's soft laughter beside me, and him whisper something that sounded like "It was nice knowing you."

She grabbed my hand and dragged me up the stairs and into her room. She dragged me into her bathroom and left me alone to shower. I let the water wash away the remainder of the blood and stood underneath its warm stream. It felt so much different on my skin than it had as a human I could feel every single drop as it landed on my skin. The temperature was different too. What used to feel like warmth now felt almost like fire against my cool skin. It didn't hurt. On the other hand it felt very comfortable. I stood there for a couple minutes, enjoying the new feeling.

I walked out of the bathroom, a large fluffy towel wrapped around me. Alice came and dragged me to the other end of her room.

She let go of me just outside of her closet and went inside to dig through her mountains of clothes. She pulled something out and threw it at me. Normally I would have let it drop to the ground, but now my vampire senses allowed me to catch the clothes with ease. Alice turned her back to me to let me change. I sighed jokingly for her benefit and changed into it.

It really wasn't as bad as it could potentially have been. Of course it looked like something right off the runway, but not that bad. She had given me a long, flowing, blue dress that ended at my knees.

When we got downstairs Edward smiled at me from his place on the couch. When I reached his side I sat down and wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his cheek.

I heard Emmett whistle from the other end of the room and whisper something that sounded like "_Get a room…_" I felt a quiet growl in my chest. I peeked over at him and saw him roll his eyes. I smiled up at Edward and leaped over the couch, pinning Emmett to the floor in less than a second. I growled at him again, only louder this time.

"You were saying?"

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**A/N: Hey everybody! I've been a little busy lately. Sorry i haven't been pumping out the usual chapter a day... And the story will be over VERY soon. So I have to make the ending absolutely perfect...**

**Anyways, this chapter is a little bit of filler... but I really couldn't help it. :P**

**Please Review!! Youre all absolutely amazing!! :)**


	11. Beginning

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x o x o

I drove Edward's silver Volvo down the rain slicked road. I was going to drive my truck, but it had mysteriously died just before I left.

I felt the subconscious feeling of butterflies in my stomach. I felt the nervousness overcoming every other feeling in my mind. Edward had offered to come with me, but I wanted to do this alone.

Suddenly, I wondered if I was even allowed on the Quileute reserve. Just as quickly I banished the thought from my mind. Jacob hadn't been answering the phone and this was the only other way I would be able to talk to him. If he wanted to be like this, then I was going to come on the reserve.

We had tried exposing me to human blood, to see how immune I was to it. I was still worried that I wouldn't be able to see my family for a long time, if ever. Edward had been there holding my hand as Carlisle had brought out the small sample. When he had, a bizarre array of feelings flashed through my mind and body. It was so much different from the deer's blood had been.

On one hand, there had been the unexpected, intense desire for the blood. My throat had burned like a fire was burning there. The feeling had been extremely sudden and had caught me completely unprepared. I felt as if some unknown force had taken over my body, needing nothing but the red liquid in front of me.

On the other hand, I felt completely repulsed by it. The feeling felt familiar from when I was human. My stomach had started to roll and I could feel the nausea enveloping me.

I had fallen to my knees trying to reign in the two unexpected feelings. Edward had kneeled beside me, a mask of worry forming on his beautiful face. I had heard his voice calling my name and then Carlisle telling him to back off, to give me some room, but I was concentrating on my mixed feelings.

Slowly, I had controlled everything and forced calm to settle over my mind. As I looked up I saw both Edward and Carlisle staring at me. Edward looked worried and confused, but Carlisle seemed to understand what had happened.

After a couple more experiments we decided that I would be safe around humans for a little while before my vampire instincts overpowered my human ones.

Now, as I was driving around one of the last bends to La Push I was trying to decide how I was going to react to Jacob, though I was worrying more about how he would react to _me_.

As I pulled up to Jacob's house I expected a pack of giant wolves to jump out at me at any second. Instead, everything was quiet. The only sound I could hear was the relentless rain drumming on the roof of the car.

What if Jacob hated me? What if he never wanted to see me again? At least I could try.

I took a breath and opened the door. As I went up to the door I thought up about a million different things I could say to Jacob, but as soon as I got there they were all erased from my memory. Why did it matter anyway? I had seen it in his eyes. I had hurt him deeply, and he didn't deserve it. He had helped me in my most desperate time of need. I had to do the same for him. I had to make things right between us.

I knocked at the door, but was disappointed to hear the squeak of Billy's wheelchair as he came to answer the door. I wasn't quite sure if he was alone or not. I was too distracted by my thoughts to focus on anything else in the house.

As Billy opened the door the smalls of the house washed over me. I cringed inside. The smell of werewolf was overpowering and sent my instincts in edge, My natural reaction would have been to attack but I controlled myself and kept calm.

"Bella!" Billy's eyes widened as he noticed the difference from the last time he saw me. "Can I help you with anything?" He seemed to know what I wanted even without having to ask.

"I was wondering... umm… Is Jacob here?" As I focussed I could hear the sound of another heartbeat from the house. It was slow. It seemed that Jacob was sleeping. Of course, what else would he be doing?

"Yes. Umm… He's sleeping right now…"

"That's fine." Before he could finish speaking I was gently pushing past him and inside. I went straight to Jacob's closed bedroom door and slowly opened it. Jacob was fast asleep, spread out across his bed. I had a moment of déjà vu. I remembered seeing him just like this before. Only I had been a human then. Just like before, he looked calm and more childlike than he did now. The only difference from before was that everything in higher detail, and that his room completely reeked of werewolf. I strangely didn't mind it so much. Maybe because I knew that they were friends. They could be trusted.

Ignoring how bad I felt for disturbing him, I leaned over and shook his shoulder gently. He woke with a start and sat up, eyes looking wildly around until they fell on me. Different emotions flashed across his face in less than a second before it settled into a calm look.

"Wow Bella! You look so… Well, you look so different!" He wrinkled his nose and I immediately had another moment of déjà vu from just before the newborn attack. "Geez though, you reek!" He smiled hesitantly at me and I couldn't help but smile back. Everything seemed to be cool with him, but I knew that he was thinking about what had happened. His first reaction proved that. I looked down at my hands before I spoke.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I needed to talk to him alone, without Billy or anybody else around. I needed to know how he really felt, to see how he was handling how I had treated him, to be there for him like he had been there for me.

He nodded. We walked outside together and down to the beach. It felt almost like old times, except that so much had happened since then. It felt like an old photograph that had warped over time. It was the same, just so different from what it had formerly been.

When we got to our spot on the driftwood, I remembered when he had first told me the story of what Edward and his family are, of what I am now. If it weren't for Jacob things would be so different. I might not even know about what Edward really was. He might not even be here anymore. There was just no way of knowing how things would be different.

We sat in an awkward silence for a couple minutes before either one of us spoke.

"I'm sorry for what I did Jacob I-"

"No Bella, it was my fault." He cut me off. "I was so sure that you felt the same way about me as I felt about you. I should have known that you didn't. I tried so hard to convince myself. Now there's nothing I could do even if you did feel the same way." This sounded odd coming from him. For so long he had been trying to convince me that I felt the same way about him as he did about me. Him saying this just sounded so unlike him.

"Jacob, I shouldn't have just pushed you away like that. I wasn't thinking about how much it would hurt you. I'm sorry too."

We were silent for a minute before Jacob took my hand in his burning hot one.

"I went too far. I'm really sorry, but that doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that you're alive. That female was killing you. If it weren't for…" He made a short choking sound. "…Edward, then you would be dead. I don't know if you know this or not, but I was in the clearing first. If it had just been me or Seth there alone, there would have been nothing we could do. You would have definitely died. I know that you belong to the leech, but I really can't help but think of you as mine too. He left you here broken, and I helped to put you back together. Simple as it may be, it left a mark on me. Something I can't just leave and forget about.

"I'll always love you, just not the same way you love me. It will always be more to me than to you. I can handle that, just as long as you never leave me."

It seemed like one of the few times he had ever been this serious about anything. He really did mean what he said. He didn't mind me being a vampire! He wouldn't disappear like I had feared he would. Everything was still good between us, but I still couldn't change his feelings for me. That would be impossible, even for a vampire. Then I remembered something that I had been thinking about on the way here.

"What about the treaty? Edward bit me, isn't that not allowed?" I looked into his dark face and he smiled.

"Well, it kind of cancels out when I broke it." I was confused.

"When did you ever break the treaty?" He looked surprised at my question.

'When I told you about all of us mythical, magical beings, remember? Part of the treaty is that we can't tell humans about werewolves or vampires or any of that, and I told you." He smiled again, and just like before, I couldn't help but smile back. I was glad things were better between us. It wasn't going to be exactly the same as before, but it would be ok.

x o x o

That evening, Edward and I ran to the river. I was surprised. For feeling so scared from the running as a human, I actually really enjoyed it now as a vampire. I loved how exhilarating it felt to have the wind blowing through my hair, and the feeling of going fast.

Edward was leaning against a tree trunk with me right beside him. He had his arm wrapped around my waist and I had my head leaning against his shoulder. It no longer felt like the cold marble like when I was a human. Now it felt just like any other person's skin, only it was a billion times more perfect than any mere human could ever hope to be.

We sat like that and listened to the sounds of the water, of the forest, and of each other for an immeasurable amount of time before I turned to and kissed his perfect lips. He put his hand on my cheek and we stared into each others eyes.

Even after everything that had happened since I first met him, he still somehow didn't seem real. It was if my mind had sent me a perfect hallucination of what I wished would happen in my life. The only problem was, I don't think I am creative enough to think of anything as absolutely perfect as he was. Everything from his velvety voice, to his perfect, sparkling body seemed too good for even the best imagination to create.

I guess I did wonder what might have happened if I had never moved to Forks, if I had stayed in Phoenix with my mom, but that was just too hard to think about. How could there be a world with vampires, werewolves, and Edward in it without me even knowing about it? I wondered how he would have spent his life without me by his side.

I wondered how things might be if he had decided not to come back after that fateful birthday. Would I have completely healed? Definitely not. Would I have ended up with Jacob? Hard to say. The only things I knew for certain were what was happening now, and was going to happen.

I knew that I would stay with him no matter what happened now. I would miss everyone I loved; Renee, and Charlie most of all, but there always has to be a price for that which you want most in this world. Maybe, if I got better at controlling my thirst, I could even visit them. They would definitely realize the difference in me, and the lack of one, but they would understand that something had happened that I could never tell them. They wouldn't want to know anyways. They just wanted me to be happy, and they would understand any of my actions to succeed in that happening.

I continued to stare into Edward's timeless golden eyes. My wish had been granted. One small chapter of my life was now over. Its end had sparked a whole new beginning for me. The beginning of the rest of my life. The beginning of forever, with Edward at my side.

x oThe End x o

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**A/N: Hey! Yes i know... It is the end :(**

**I'm sorry but if I let it drag on any longer it would take away from it and make it boring and pointless.. like a certain camping trip I remember from some other series.. cough**

**I hoped you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! I'll try to get another story up ASAP, just have to think of something good. You're all amazing!! 3**

**Please Review!!**


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